Holiday Terms & Conditions — A Christmas Album

Celebrate with Joy & Liability

We made a Christmas Album! Me and the robots, that is:

I had way too much fun this weekend turning corporate legalese into holiday tunes. What started as a whimsical exploration of how terms of service tomes might be turned into short-form poetry … ended with a 10-song holiday album and my first “upload” to Spotify et al.

The process: I used Suno for “making” the music: a lot of exploration, a lot of trial and error, but above all: an experience that was just very fun. Claude helped with first drafts for each song — I couldn’t have started without these, though they were quite stale, and I ultimately re-wrote most of the lyrics. But what the robots lacked in subversive humor, they surely made up for with their singing. I was floored.

May I suggest playing this in the background (unannounced) at your upcoming holiday party? Everyone might even learn a thing or two about all the rights you signed away long ago.

With joy,
Greg.

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Instagram (Plastic Joy)
“Craving all your clicks, they fence in your dreams with terms like legal bricks.”
youtube.com/watch?v=cP_0iWpB1eg

Amazon (Buying Wine)
“It's beginning to look a lot like lawsuits everywhere you scroll …”
youtube.com/watch?v=iDTHuJNvd9A

Tinder (Swipe All Night)
”No refunds if you swipe in vain, your likes are just for rent.”
youtube.com/watch?v=Hon2dgas-qY

Apple Pay (Fa-La-La-Liability)
”If you share your passcode with your friend, you're liable till the bitter end…”
youtube.com/watch?v=7ADk_XseKpo

Netflix (Subscription Blues)
“No sharing outside my home, watching Ultra HD all alone.”
youtube.com/watch?v=aN4tPpUtOok

Waymo (Rules)
“Driver’s seat is off-limits, pick another seat!”
youtube.com/watch?v=XgavIvek0-8

TikTok (It's Beginning to Look Like a Contract)
“Like Saint Nick checking his special list, we monitor content that you transmit!”
youtube.com/watch?v=1N5PJMEA6Dc

Starbucks Rewards (Expire)
“'Twas a night with legal terms galore when arbitration came knocking at my door…”
youtube.com/watch?v=SFYCIV54gwI

United Airlines (Five Pounds of Dry Ice)
“But holiday spirit's always free, even in Economy!”
youtube.com/watch?v=-AQrMXHhLI8

ChatGPT (Oh AI Friend)
“These decisions, big and small, need human experts after all …”
youtube.com/watch?v=exNVq33nMrY